Daydream believer

Something that some of you may not know about me is that I used to be a great dreamer. Daydreamer, that is. Except only at night. See, when I was little, if ever I couldn't sleep at night, instead of getting someone to tell me a bedtime story, I would tell one to myself. I dreamt up a small scene that I thought would be just awesome to have happen in real life. I spent just a few minutes thinking up who or what I would want to be, who I would want to talk to, etc. and often, before I could finish my daydream's cast list, I'd fall right asleep. The next sleepless night, though, I could go right back to where I left off during the last daydream session and pick it up, sometimes with an even better story line. One story could even go on for a couple of months!

In the next few years I got better and better at daydreaming. In general my plots were fairly conceivable, even if "conceivable" is just equivalent to the happenings of a chick flick. They were almost always completely happy; I made handsome men fall in love with me because of my beautiful smile or my perfect voice or something. It was bliss! But sometimes I would want a little drama, so a close friend of mine would all of a sudden decide that they hated me for whatever reason, and I would have to cry and try to talk some sense into their heads. Keep in mind this is when I was around 8 years old. I was already a helpless romantic, but why did I have that craving for drama? I really don't know. 

Anyway, I've thought a little bit about this lately because I was thinking about times in my life where I've received direct answers to prayers. And I distinctly remember praying that I could stop daydreaming. See, I would start daydreaming during the day (who woulda thunkit?) and it interfered with the school work and things like that. Even at such a young age, I could recognize my addiction. To this day, I find myself pretty much devoid of any daydreaming capabilities. Prayer answered. And I am so grateful for it because instead of wasting a ton of time stuck in some dream world, I find beauty and love in my reality.

If you don't mind, though, I'd like to offer a couple of examples of why I think this daydreaming habit was kind of good for me. 

Exhibit A: Big Bird. 

I did not want to meet him. No, no, no. I wanted to be him. I remember one story in particular where I got to talk to Elmo, Bert, Ernie, Stinky the plant, and even Snuffleupagus! We tried to solve the mystery of the missing Two. Turns out Two and Nine were forming a secret club (I wish I could remember what I called that club!) and we had to teach them a lesson about being nice and including everyone. Then I found out that Big Bird was a boy so I dropped that dream. 

(By the way, 29 has always been kind of my favorite number. Not sure why, but maybe this had something to do with it?)

Exhibit B: Handsome man

In this scenario, a series of events led me to the moment where the love of my life swept me off my feet and we got married. I never imagined myself as already being a marriageable age, though. We just met when I was 8 and I knew we'd stay boyfriend and girlfriend until I turned 20 and he was 21 and off of his mission and then we'd get married. Easy as pie, right? 

The role of "handsome man" was sometimes played by whatever school crush I had at the time, but was most often filled by Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Ohh how I loved me some JTT. Anyway, sometimes it was easy and we lived happily ever after. But sometimes there were conflicts (he decided his acting career was more important than me, or he wouldn't join the Church or something) so I practiced my rhetoric and pled with him to "think of our future kids" and recognize what was important in life. Maybe I was too mature for my age? 

Exhibit C: Death of a close friend or family member

Yeah, morbid, I know. I'm reluctant, even embarrassed, to talk about this one and I won't give specifics because I don't want people to think that when I was a kid I wanted them to die or anything. But sometimes I would seriously think to myself, "How would my life be different if so-and-so were not here?" I would imagine how many tears I might shed, who all would be there to comfort me, and how I would cope with it years down the road. I would even imagine my prayers to Heavenly Father asking for understanding and peace. 

8-year-old say what?

Sooo Warning: Self-brag-fest about to ensue.

Just from these three examples, I look back and just want to give myself a bit of a pat on the back. I taught myself some pretty awesome life lessons through those daydreams. Or daymares.

I feel like I have always had a pretty good sense of judgement and friendship, as well as a doggone good priorities list: Put God and family first, and everything else falls into place. Most of that "sense" comes, I'm sure, from the way my parents raised me. They have been the greatest examples of wisdom, fairness, strength through trial, and especially love. But remembering these daydreams I created just help solidify these lessons I've been taught.

A: Every single day, even on this fantastic trip, I am met with a different challenge. A lot of these challenges have to do with friendships and the way people treat each other. A lot of times we're just a bunch of grumpypants . . . er, grumpytrousers . . . and we get selfish. We're less considerate of others, and that leads to disharmony, frustration, and even offense. But remember Big Bird? He/I taught everyone that we should include people, be their friends, and show love to them. Our big brother Jesus taught us the same thing. 

B: Someday I am going to find love, and it's going to find me right back. When that happens, I am not going to forget my Must-Have list. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of getting married in the Lord's temple. Especially because of those beautiful daydreams (even though I'm sure I was never able to come close to imagining the true beauty of it all), I won't let go of that standard. My eternal family comes first. 

C: And now, though I am not faced with the death of anyone close to me, I am faced with the realization of life's fragility because of the situation with my daddy's health. And I remember those prayers that I imagined myself asking: for peace, for comfort, for alleviation of my spiritual and emotional pains. I now utter those same prayers, including one for the easing of daddy's physical hardships. When I was a young daydreamer I believed -- and now I know -- that these prayers are heard.