(For those of you who may be unfamiliar with LDS temples, here are a couple of videos (1, 2) that talk about why we build temples, why they are sacred, and why we live our lives in a way that keeps us worthy to attend. The endowment is a spiritual ceremony in which we learn sacred truths and make covenants with God regarding how we conduct our lives on earth and the blessings that await us in the life to come as we are faithful to those promises.)
This is something I've looked forward to for a long time. Several months ago, I spoke with my bishop about my desire to attend, thinking that I would plan for sometime next year. As we talked week after week, we determined that I may be ready sooner than I had originally anticipated. With my brother Parley getting ready to leave on his two-year mission, I decided I would make it a point to be ready to go at the same time he did so that we could go together.
As we were warned would happen, plenty of things seemed to get in the way as we prepared to go to the temple. Schedules conflicted, finances were scarce, the temple was closed for two weeks for maintenance, I allowed little things to take hits at my happiness and self-esteem (e.g., my last blog post), etc. But, trying to remember that much of the opposition was simply that, I continued to press forward and look forward to the blessings that would come as a result of my preparation.
I am really blessed to have had many friends and family members who have been examples of faith and strength in making and keeping temple covenants. I owe much of my spiritual preparation to the advice and testimonies they have shared with me. Two comments in particular have stuck with me and were particularly helpful before and after my temple experience. The first one was when, about four years ago, my best friend told me that all the truths taught in the temple could be found in scripture. He said that studying the scriptures and learning how to recognize the symbolism and spirit of the Lord's words would be one of the best ways to prepare to receive temple blessings. In the time that I have been more seriously preparing for the temple, I have remembered that advice time and time again. While I know that I benefited from the increased measure of the spirit that always comes from feasting on the words of Christ, perhaps the more amazing thing to me was how familiar it all felt. That brings me to the other piece of advice that I felt strongly about, which was from my sister-in-law. She suggested that when I go through the temple for the first time, I shouldn't worry too much about remembering every individual word, nor should I try and analyze everything, but that I should instead focus on how I feel while I'm there. I did my best to do that, and that feeling is something I hope to always remember.
In the temple, I felt still. Even my naturally active, curious brain was calmed, quieted, and enlightened with an overwhelming, yet perfectly simple understanding of Heavenly Father's love for me and for each of His children. Even though the covenants and ordinances were new, the experience did not feel the least bit foreign. It was comfort. It was peace. It was joy. It was love. It was home.
On another note, I've never felt more beautiful in my life. In the temple we wear white as a symbol of purity, and since we are all dressed alike, it also evokes feelings of equality and community. Temple clothing is simple, without ornamentation, in order to keep the focus on Christ and on the ordinances taking place rather than more trivial, worldly things, like how we look compared to someone else. Mama and I have been working on making my temple dress, but we weren't able to finish it before we went, so I planned on borrowing a dress from the temple. The first dress they picked out was a beautiful style, but it was too small, so they brought me another one that was pretty much like an oversized choir robe or my grandma's muumuu. So, to say the least, it wasn't the most flattering piece of clothing I've ever worn. But standing there in the temple, thinking of the covenants I was about to make and remembering my identity and destiny as a daughter of God, I could not have cared less how the dress fit. I was keenly aware of how beautiful I was, not because of the way I looked, but because of the potential within me. I am one of God's creations, and a marvelous one at that!
On another note, I've never felt more beautiful in my life. In the temple we wear white as a symbol of purity, and since we are all dressed alike, it also evokes feelings of equality and community. Temple clothing is simple, without ornamentation, in order to keep the focus on Christ and on the ordinances taking place rather than more trivial, worldly things, like how we look compared to someone else. Mama and I have been working on making my temple dress, but we weren't able to finish it before we went, so I planned on borrowing a dress from the temple. The first dress they picked out was a beautiful style, but it was too small, so they brought me another one that was pretty much like an oversized choir robe or my grandma's muumuu. So, to say the least, it wasn't the most flattering piece of clothing I've ever worn. But standing there in the temple, thinking of the covenants I was about to make and remembering my identity and destiny as a daughter of God, I could not have cared less how the dress fit. I was keenly aware of how beautiful I was, not because of the way I looked, but because of the potential within me. I am one of God's creations, and a marvelous one at that!
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| The Raleigh temple. To my recollection, it is the first temple I ever stepped foot in. Attending the Open House when I was 10 years old is still one of my most vivid childhood memories. |
I am so happy to be where I am now. As is true with everyone, it took a lot of hard work and spiritual growth and change for me to get to this point, but every difficult thing that stood in my way was so incredibly worth the sacrifices it took to overcome. So to those of my friends who are preparing to go to the temple: Do it. Even if you're still young and it will be a few years before you're old enough, start preparing now. Even if a mission or marriage is not imminent, immerse yourself in the scriptures. Do whatever you have to do to become (and remain) worthy to attend. Blessings and beauty await.
