Purist Movie Quotations Part 1: Nacho Libre

If you know me well, you know that I'm not easily provoked. However, the two exceptions to this are (1) when people insult UNC--especially in favor of Dook--and (2) when they mess up quotations from my favorite movies. I'm definitely a purist when it comes to quotations from Nacho Libre.  I'm tired of people quoting some of my favorite comedic moments incorrectly. (On a slightly tangential note, I also get a little bugged when people use "quote" as a noun. Adversely, I'm usually a little bit tempted to fall in love with any man who uses the word "quotation.") Anyway, here it is.

Quotation #1: "When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun."

Variations:

• "You wear stretchy pants in your room, if you are a man."
• "You wear stretchy pants if you're a man."
• (This one really overcooks my grits.) "You wear stretchy pants in your room. Just for fun."

Seriously, where does the "just" come from? It doesn't even sound like it.

Quotation #2: "You gotta be kidding me. Everything you just said is my favorite thing to do every day."

Variations: 

• "All of those things you do, I like to do every day."
• "All those things are my favorite things every day." 
• Anything that doesn't include the proper pauses (after "said," "do," and "every").

Quotation #3: "Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty!"

Variations:

• "I gotta get a different duty!"
• "I need a different duty!"

The entire funny-value of this quotation comes from the "better duty" portion. Opting for the more alliterative "different duty" is a choppy disservice to this hilarious phrase that makes it sound like Nacho needs a "better doody." Because I'm a twelve-year-old boy, that's why.

Quotation #4: "I'm a little bit concerned right now, about your salvation and stuff. How come you have not been baptized?"

Variations:

• "I'm worried about your salvation and stuff."
• Anything that includes the word "baptized" with American intonation.

Quotation #5: "They might have the appearance of riches, but beneath the clothes, we find the man, and beneath the man, we find . . . his . . . nucleus."

Variation:

• Anything that leaves out the "beneath the clothes, we find the man" portion. They're usually just left saying, "Beneath the man, we find his nucleus," and that's not nearly as funny on its own as it is with the progressive beneathing.

Quotation #6: "I hate all the orphans in the whole world."

Variation:

• "I hate all the orphans in the whole wide world."

Esqueleto may be a street urchin, but he doesn't have the exaggeration methods of a six-year-old.

K folks, that's all for this installment of PMQ. So go. Go away! Read some books!