With My By Myself

I don't need a husband.

I've lived my entire life without one, and I don't need one now. Here's why:

• Notwithstanding numerous struggles in most aspects of my life, I can sustain myself pretty well through economic and emotional hardships.
• I work a dynamic, rewarding job that pays well and has potential for progression if I seek it and work for it.
• I live on my own and I pay all my own bills. I might create a few more bills than are 100% necessary, but I make my way.
• My personality and mind are developed well enough that I can learn anything I need to learn to make basic repairs around my home, to my car, or to do anything else stereotypically manly.
• Exhibit A: I assembled my couch,  a job which was intended to be performed by 2-3 people, by myself. I am not afraid to get creative in my problem-solving, so living alone isn't a devastation.
• I can lift heavy things and carry them pretty decent distances. In fact, I much prefer to carry them on my own rather than getting a man's (or anyone else's) help. It's not just to make a feminist statement, either, but because completely  independent of my gender, I have an able body and I enjoy using it to do challenging things. Not to mention it's just much more efficient for me to carry the box all the way instead of having you stop me halfway to transfer it to your arms. Please just go get the next box and let me enjoy using my bulk for something productive.
• Related to the above point, I am no damsel in distress. I can hold my own. However, if I ever am in distress, I will readily request assistance. I'm not that proud. But I sure as hell don't need a man who assumes that any distress I find myself in is a given *because* I am a damsel.
• I also love driving trucks, so you best bet I can haul all kinds of crap all by myself. And I'll love every minute of it.
• Also, I don't need a man because I have a dog whose snuggles are just as satisfying as those from most men I've had the privilege of snuggling.

But now I must add a major disclaimer. I believe that marriage and motherhood will be the crowning achievements of my life, and I greatly anticipate the day when they will become a reality for me.

 

So no, I don't need a man, but I sure do want one. Here's why:

 

• I want an equal partner, someone to share my happiness and success with when I've had a great day at work or a fun day of crafting or perhaps an intellectual revolution.
• I want someone with whom to share emotional and spiritual struggles, thereby cultivating Christlike attributes of charity and longsuffering.
• I want a lasting companionship based on trust, respect, unconditional love, and mutual interest in each other's life.
• I want someone to be a father to my children, not just in biology, but in the ever-stretching and refining role of Daddy. (I.e.; I want to co-parent the crud out of some awesome kids with a patient, gentle, worthy priesthood holder.)
• I want someone to giggle with. Someone who enjoys being silly as much as I do. Someone who won't question my desire to have 50-volume collection of custom karaoke CDs for my car, nor have any qualms about our going on long drives just to sing along to them.
• I want someone to hold hands with because it feels real nice.
• I want someone who will be eager to help me in my physical and intellectual pursuits, not because he thinks I'm fragile or incapable on my own, but because he loves me and wants to ease some of my burdens. Or maybe it's simply because he wants to be next to me while we figure something out together.
• I want a man who will let me help him too, because he understands I've got plenty to offer, and he knows how much I'd really like to be next to him and lighten some if his burdens because I just love him so daggum much, ok?

Realtalk here. My ever-increasing independence has been scaring me lately, as irrational as that fear may be. I think I've been afraid that if I appear too self-sufficient and awesome, I'll become that girl we all hear about who drives guys away because she intimidates them. But, praise be to God, I've learned that hoping for someone to like me for who I am is just a big old waste of time. Because why should I want to be liked for who I am now when I'm still capable of becoming so much more? A good man will like who I am, but a great man will like where I'm going, and he'll be on that same path.

So whoever you are, if you see me out there in the distance (I'll be the thick one carrying all those boxes, maybe even balancing one on my head), I'm just keeping a steady pace toward becoming the best version of myself. Come on up and let's match our strides.