7 Years Overdue

Something a few people may not know about me is that I never had a driver's license until a couple of months ago. I took driver's ed when I was 14 and got my learner's permit when I was 15, but never got my license (for various reasons, most of them financial).

For those of you who were blessed enough to have a way to drive as soon as you were legally able, let me teach you a little something. It is pretty embarrassing to be a college graduate without a driver's license. Heck, it was even embarrassing to be a high school graduate in the same situation.

I hated not being able to help my friends drive on road trips. I hated that when people visited me from out-of-state, they had to drive me on the tour of my hometown. I hated that I had to bum rides off of people for things as simple as a trip to the grocery store a few blocks away if the weather was bad for biking or walking. I hated the inconvenience of having to explain, "Oh, it's a State ID, not a driver's license" at the airport, or when filling out paperwork for new jobs. I hated being dropped off and picked up by my parents at social functions (both for the embarrassment of never feeling like an adult and for having to inconvenience my parents). I hated waiting to be picked up from work when my parents had other places to be. I hated that my coworkers felt they needed to wait with me (though I was always grateful for it as well).

When you're in a situation like the one I was in, the embarrassment becomes pretty commonplace, and your self-esteem can take a pretty huge hit. Whether or not it's actually true, it's easy to feel that people think you're not smart enough, or that you lack the maturity to learn to drive. Or that you are too lazy to do anything about it. Or maybe they think you just enjoy leeching off of other people so much that you don't even desire to make the effort.

It feels pretty bad when you think other people look at you that way, but it's even worse when you start to look at yourself like that a little bit. I did that quite a bit, and it was really hard to overcome.

But now I have a license and I own a car! Sure, my insurance rates are through the roof (and when I say that, think "about a hundred feet above the roof of a super tall building"), but I've secured my independence. I can come and go as I need to, and I can finally offer friends and family the same service they have offered me through the years. Plus, in these 7 years of my driving-eligible-yet-non-driving life, I've learned a few things on the way that I think make me a better driver and a better person. And because it wouldn't be a blog post of mine without a numbered list, here they are: 

1. I've learned to be patient. It's pretty much been my only option the past few months as I've worked a full-time job and had to depend on my parents for transportation. And when car after car after car didn't quite meet my requirements for price, mileage, quality, or awesomeness, I learned to keep my eyes on the prize and keep on trying. Patience on the road is really going to help me keep my cool, too. And I love my cool.

2. I've learned to be responsible. After several years of relative financial independence, I know that I can discipline myself enough to take care of my car payment, insurance, gas, and everything else that goes into owning and maintaining a car. I can definitely get better at that "discipline and prioritizing" thing, so I know it won't be easy, but I know I can do it.

3. I've learned to be more considerate and unassuming of other people's situations. I can never really know why a person does--or fails to do--one thing or another (like many people may not have understood why I didn't ever drive), but assuming the worst is never a good idea. I need to be more aware of circumstances in my friends' lives that may be quite different from what they seem. Along those lines, the whole world doesn't revolve around me, and I should be willing to do whatever I can to make things easier for the people in my life--because they have certainly done that for me time and time again.

4. I've learned the importance of driving safely. I've been a passenger in plenty of cars, some with wonderful drivers, and some with drivers who increased my prayers-per-minute rate by a good 250%. I now know as a driver that my passengers' perceptions of safety are much more important than my own. I will never text or facebook while driving, or do anything else that would jeopardize the safety of my passengers. (Or my car, because I really love it a lot.)

5. I've learned that, like Nacho, "I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny." For so long, I blamed my non-driver status on my parents for not having the money to pay extra on insurance when I was younger. I blamed them for not supporting me enough, not loving me enough to make sacrifices so I could have some extra freedom, etc. Whatever. I realize now that I probably could have had my license long ago, and maybe I could have even owned a car a lot sooner, but my time, money, and efforts were invested elsewhere. While it meant a lot of inconveniences for myself and for so many roommates and friends (for which I feel like I should thank and apologize to them at least a million times more), it's okay. I don't feel like I am any less of a person for having a different timeline for this milestone in my life, and I've learned a lot of valuable lessons in a way that has been effective for me.

That said, I'm relieved and giddy and excited to finally have my license and a car. I'm so glad to have finally opened this chapter of my life . . . and a big part of that may or may not be because I have a niece and two nephews (soon to be 3 nephews!) within a couple hours of home.

Life's good.