. . . Does this mean I'm officially a Utard?

I don't know how familiar y'all are with the weird Utah dating phenomenon that is the whole "creative asking" thing, but from my understanding it can get kind of out of control. Instead of just simple phone calls or face-to-face conversations, people make huge signs, put Oreos on people's cars, deliver a billion balloons with puzzle pieces that spell the question out (like in the movie The Singles Ward), and all sorts of other crazy extravagant things.

As fun as all that can be, I always swore I'd never be one of them. I never want to make dating a big deal until it deserves to be a big deal. And that's never the case on a first date, in my opinion.

But what was I supposed to do when my best friend Kaitlin and I had the best idea in the world of re-writing lyrics to Justin Bieber's "One Less Lonely Girl" to ask a couple of our friends out on a group date? I mean, it wasn't fair. We had to record it burn it to a CD and then doorbell ditch them, didn't we?

Yeah, I think I've been in Utah too long. But since I'm sure you're dying to hear the beautiful musical stylings of Kaitlyn (that's Kaitlin and Katelyn put together, in case you couldn't tell), just click below and enjoy.


***This version of the song has been anonymized. Those poor boys are probably really embarrassed.

Two Less Lonely Boys by Kaitlyn

Both:   There’s gonna be two less lonely boys.

              Two less lonely boys.

              There’s gonna be two less lonely boys.

              Two less lonely boys.

              How many Friday nights have y’all spent inside

              Wishin' you had somethin' to do?

              Well, we’re here to say we gon’ make your day

              ‘Cause we got a question for you.

              But you gon’ have to wait. We won’t ask it yet,

              ‘Cause we gotta fill the rest of this verse.

              And it hurts to be this cute and coy.

              There’s gonna be two less lonely boys. 

              We’ve wasted so many pretty faces 

              Just waitin’ on you,

              So now we comin' to you.

              Don’t think we hatin’ and impatient ‘cause we ask you.

              Your loneliness will be destroyed.

              There’s gonna be two less lonely boys (Insert boys' names.).

              Two less lonely boys (Insert boys’ names.)

              Two less lonely boys (Insert boys’ names.)

              Two less lonely boys (Insert boys’ names.)

              Two less lonely boys

              We wanna take y’all out!

              If you don’t wanna go, we’ll pout.

              But if you do, we’ll be filled with joy,

              And there will be two less lonely boys.

              Hey boy and other boy, we want to take y’all out

              To go Skittle bowling Friday night.

KG:       Hey boy, I hope you’re free to go out with me.

KJ:        And other boy would be my date? 

KG:       That’s right.

Both:    We’ll get a bag of Skittles and bowl till midnight.

              We’ll even pay if that’s alright. 

              It’s no ploy!

              If you go out with us, there’ll be joy

              And there’ll be two less lonely boys.

KJ:        I saw so many bearded faces before I saw you,

              And I liked so very few,

              But it worked for you.

              Now you don’t have your bearded face, and that’s okay too.

              If you wanna go, just make some noise.

              There's gonna be two less lonely boys (Insert boys’ names.).

              Two less lonely boys (Insert boys’ names.)

              Two less lonely boys (Insert boys’ names.)

              Two less lonely boys (Insert boys’ names.)

              Two less lonely boys

Both:    We wanna take y’all out!

              If you don’t wanna go, we’ll pout.

              But if you do, we’ll be filled with joy,

              And there will be two less lonely boys.

KG:      Hey boy, you are a first-class friend.

              So I hope that you want to spend

              Friday night with me, yeah,

              On a group date to Skittles bowl (KJ: Skittles bowl!)

              Skittles bowl. (KJ: Bowl with me!)

              With me . . .

              You’re smart and fun, and I hope you’ll go with me.

              I’ll take you and we’ll go bowl with two less lonely . . .

Both:    There’s gonna be two less lonely boys.

              Two less lonely boys.

              There’s gonna be two less lonely boys.

              Two less lonely boooooooys (Insert boys' names.)!

              Two less lonely boys (Insert boys’ names.)

              Two less lonely boys (Insert boys’ names.)

              Two less lonely boys (Insert boys’ names.)

              Two less lonely boys

              We wanna take y’all out!

              If you don’t wanna go, we’ll pout.

              But if you do, we’ll be filled with joy,

              And there will be two less lonely boys.

Both:     So whaddy’all say, shawtys?