Good-natured fun-poking at (and education about) six silly grammatical and orthographical errors

Let me just clarify right away that I know I am nowhere near perfect. However, there are certain things I see all over the place in written English (and a few things I hear in spoken English) that tend to crack me up and/or set me on fire. To save myself from sounding like a prescriptivist tyrant, though, in this post I'm only addressing the ones that make me laugh. I'll save my rants about all the there/their/they're and your/you're and its/it's and countless other errors I see that I think the world would be so much better without.

Like I said, I'm no prescriptivist--as you have seen or will see, I'm a huge fan of many grammatical errors, especially beginning sentences with conjunctions and ending them with prepositions--but when I see some of these things in academic papers, I tend to get a little . . . passionate. Maybe it's just that I'm happy I know these things and I really really really think you should know them too. If you don't know them or don't care, just be aware that I probably have a chuckle or two at your expense every now and again.

Now that those disclaimers are behind us, let the fun begin. 

1. Dido ≠ Ditto. 

2. Loose ≠ Lose. 

3. This is a picture of So-and-so and I. No, actually, it's not. I is a subject; me is an object. When in doubt, check yourself by thinking just a little. You wouldn't say a picture of I, but rather a picture of me.  

Loophole: This is a picture of Kelsey and eye 

As a side note, it kind of broke my heart a little bit when I realized a couple of months ago that Diana Ross sings grammatically incorrect lyrics in her song from The Land Before Time. The clouds should be rolling by "for you and me," but since I rhymes with by, they went with that. Diana Ross and Littlefoot: engendering grammatical incorrectness (and making us cry our eyeballs out) since 1988.  

4. The party is at Jane and I's house. NO. Because the only time it would be appropriate to use "I's" is when you're speaking in a particular dialect, in which case it serves as a contraction for "I is" or "I was," and is not a possessive marker. See?

 

There's already a word for possession by the first person speaker. It's called "my." Next time, try "The party is at Jane's and my house." Or, if you prefer to avoid such constructions, just say, "Roll on over to our crib, playa."

Another loophole: my sister or brother might say, "This is a picture of Katelyn and eyes" or "This is (a) 'Katelyn and eyes' picture." And does my bottom lip look luscious or what?!

5. Awe ≠ Aww. "Awe" is an emotion you feel. It's like shock, surprise, or reverent incredulity. "Aww" is the exclamation you're looking for when you think something is sweet, precious, darling, etc. or when you're expressing pity.  


And now, the last subject of my rant for today:


6. Sneak Peak. I see this in photography blogs all over the place. In the words of my good friend Liz, "NO! NO SNEAK MOUNTAINS!"


Coming soon (if I can figure out how to write about it without sounding like a grammarbully): a lesson on pluralization--especially of last names--and possession!