To my male readers (wait . . . do I even have any?) I would like to apologize in advance, because this post might just sound really awkward. Female readers, I think that some of you will probably understand where I'm coming from.
See, I keep thinking about my children. That is, those that I will give birth to when the time has come.
The wonderful dilemma -- how's that for an oxymoron? -- is that I already love them.
But now I want to meet them. I want to know them, to hug and kiss them and play with them and see their personalities. I want to see how they are going to interact with their siblings, with their cousins and aunts and uncles, and with their daddy. I want to know their names! I want to hear their singing voices. I want to dance with them in the kitchen, skip around and twirl with them in the backyard and chase them around the house until we're plum tuckered out. I want to put them in their footie pajamas and tuck them into bed and tell them bedtime stories. I want goodnight kisses from my babies.
I wonder, what are they going to be like when they grow up? Will they be as goofy as me? Bless their hearts if they are. Will they tell stupid jokes, or will they actually be funny? Will they have the same insecurities and self-doubts that I've had in the past (and some that I still have), or will I raise them up in such a way that they will be more confident in those areas? Will they stay true to the principles and practices of the gospel and Church that I so love? Of course that brings us to the question of what kind of mother I will be . . . but that scares me too much so we'll go back to wondering about my kids. Will they be into sports? Music? Painting? Writing? Heck, will I give birth to a linguist?
Bottom line, sometimes I just long for them. I ache to be a mother.
But you know what? It's the best ache I've ever had.
I love this post. I hope you will remember all this when you have your kids and you find yourself caught up in the getting stuff done, keeping the house clean, sleep deprivation moments.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day to you!
This is just precious. :) You will be a wonderful mother. In a way, you already ARE a mother, you're just waiting on your kids to get here. Being a mother is a million times more wonderful than I ever imagined it would be and about that many times harder than I'd supposed, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's a little reminder to me to be grateful for the little things each day. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI loved this post =) Thanks for sharing, Katelyn! I sometimes think about the same thing, but you put it into words much better than I can! You will make a terrific mother one day! You are wonderful.
ReplyDeletelovely thoughts, feelings and post! Love you!
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