Friendlove part 1: Kristen

Kristen is a distant cousin of mine (3rd, I think). She grew up with my brothers, so when I was growing up I didn't know her very well, but throughout the past couple of years as we've been blogging buddies, I feel like I've come to know her pretty well. She is the mother of four beautiful children, and with every post she writes about those little rascals, she adds to my excitement about being a mother one day. One of my favorite things about her is the way she deals with the hilarious messes her kids make. (And by that, I mean, the messes that Paige makes.) In my eyes, Kristen is the epitome of cherishing motherhood and keeping the eternal perspective. I should also make note that she and Cory have raised their kids to be Tarheels, so you know they're righteous parents.

I really admire Kristen. Everything from her sense of humor to her sense of style and her incredible testimony is a tremendous example to me of the kind of person and mother I want to become. And I can only hope my kids will be as cute as hers.

And, finally, if you ever need an extra smile, try watching this. 

I had an idea today. Lately I've been reflecting about the things that are important in my life and what makes me happy, etc. I've realized that a lot of my happiness comes from love--loving others, being loved by others, etc. I've also realized that I do a lot of conditional loving. And by that I mean that I tend to just love people and if I can tell that they love me back, I make more of an effort to show them I love them. Otherwise, I put less time into expressing that love and nurturing it. But that's not the way God loves, and it's not the way I want to love. He loves unconditionally, regardless of how much they show affection and appreciation for Him. My ultimate goal is to become like Him, and I honestly believe that one of the biggest ways for me to begin that journey is to try and love like Him. I know that I won't love perfectly in this life--only He can do that--but I can still improve the way I express the admiration and gratitude for the people in my life.

Now, back to my brilliant idea. I'm going to start that process by writing individual blog posts about the special people in my life, and you, dear readers, are to be some of my subjects. Of course I'll write about my family members and close friends who may never even see this, but I'm gonna write about all y'all too.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the best at keeping a journal other than this blog, and I don't want to forget the people who have helped me become me. So watch out. One of these days, you're gonna be featured. I'll probably start tomorrow; I've got lots of cleaning and stuff to do today. I'll write about people in no particular order, so don't be offended if you're not one of the very first to be featured.

I love you. The end.

Summer to-do list

This summer, I will:

Eat healthier--have smaller portions and fewer treats
Cook good food and share it with people
Run a 5K (The Dirty Dash)
Ride my bike at least 4 times a week. Maybe I'll even form a biker gang.
Feel good enough about my legs to lose the over-the-swimsuit shorts
Stay skin-cancer free, but not pasty. Or red. I just want a little bit of pigment.
Read The Book of Mormon twice--once in English, once in Spanish
Learn at least 2 new things each day--1 spiritual and 1 secular--and write them down
Kiss a boy. And by "boy" I mean "man."
Make 3 new friends (or significantly improve 3 current friendships)
Work hard
Play harder
Play more guitar, keep singing, learn harmonica
Take a road trip to California
Read all those books
Make at least two tie-dye shirts per month
Fly kites
Play Wiffle Ball
Have adventures

Twenty-two by Twenty-two

Here we are again. It's prime reading season! I've always looked forward to summer because freedom from school made it easier to read for fun. This summer is no different, except actually it might be better because now I'm completely done with school, which is still kind of crazy.

To celebrate my (almost) 22 years of life and learning, I'm going to read 22 books by my 22nd birthday on September 6th. If I get through all of these by the end of the summer, I'm all for adding more to the list, so I'm open for suggestions. A couple of the books on the list are ones I've read before, but I read them back when I was in middle school; I think I could get a lot more out of them now that I might actually understand what's going on. Also, I'm going to start reading some books in Spanish (and a couple in Spanglish) because now that I don't have any more Spanish classes, I need something to keep my language skills up. I'll star those so you'll think I'm cool.

And, since I like color-coding things, here's a key to my color-codingness.

Currently reading

Finished

Next on the list

Here goes:

1. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith (528 pages)

2. Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson (349 pages)

3. Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie (200 pages)
4. Out of Africa by Isak Dinesen (~400 pages)
5. Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum (496 pages)
6. Led by Faith by Imaculee Ilibagiza (264 pages)

7. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (400 pages)

8. The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis (160 pages)
9. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis (227 pages)
10. The Great Divorce** by C.S. Lewis (144 pages)
11. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd (302 pages)
12. Peace Like a River by Leif Enger (320 pages)
13. Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes (304 pages)
14. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden (448 pages)
15. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan (288 pages)
16. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams (208 pages)
17. Life of Pi by Yann Martel (326 pages)
18. The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros (110 pages)
19. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne (244 pages)
20. Don Quixote de la Mancha* by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (~1000 pages. Gonna be a doozy.)
21. Yo-Yo Boing!* by Giannina Braschi (256 pages)
22. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao* by Junot Diaz (339 pages)

**I found a dirt-cheap copy of this book in Spanish, so I'll actually be reading El Gran Divorico.

So that's 119 days to read approximately 6,900 pages. Sweet bidness. Wish me luck!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Diploma. Diploma who? Diploma's here to fix de sink!

     My diploma will be in the mail tomorrow. It's real life!
     I don't think I ever did any explaining on here about the crazy life decisions I've made over the past few weeks, so I'll do that now. The past few months have been an incredible spiritual journey for me and I have seen the Lord working in my life, and I'm understanding a little better now how small means bring about great things.
     See, my plan for the past two years has been to complete the TESOL minor. I had it all planned out: I would complete all the coursework except for the internship by April 2011, then do that internship during the summer and be officially graduated in August. But starting in February, I started getting little inklings that I might not want to teach ESL for a living. The thought occurred to me a couple of times that I should drop the minor and just graduate with my B.A. in Linguistics. Since I had taken all the TESOL classes and went on study abroad, I still had enough Linguistics elective credits to graduate with that option rather than needing a minor. But I told myself "no." I thought that it was just the senioritis speaking and trying to get me to take the easy way out. I suppressed those thoughts and kept doing my thing.
     A few weeks later, I was tinkering with my resume to try and make it more TESOL-specific, and I realized that a lot of my work experience has been with people who have disabilities. The thought crossed my mind, "Maybe you should do something with special education." I chided myself, "Maybe you should have done something with special education, but it's too late. You're pretty much only 150 internship hours away from graduating college. You're not going to change career paths now." I ignored it and moved on.
     Two days after that, I had a chance encounter (or so it would seem) with my friend Becky, who was the Relief Society President in my ward during my freshman year. As we were catching up, she mentioned that she was teaching special education at a school in town. That surprised the beans out of me--she'd graduated with an Art degree a year ago, but she wasn't really doing anything with art education with these kids. She explained that a friend had hooked her up with the job and she has started working on getting certified to teach special education--Utah State University has a program that lets you work toward licensure while teaching--and she gave me the details of that program. I read a little bit about it that night and then put it on the sidelines of my thoughts. I still wanted to make something happen with the internship and was pretty much just determined to finish what I had started.
     Shortly afterward, General Conference weekend rolled around, and as usual, I had some questions that I wanted answered. I had started to feel kind of uninterested in my studies, but it wasn't like senioritis. Trust me, I've had plenty of experience with that, and it was nowhere near the flat-out laziness and antsy feeling that senioritis gives me. It was more like I felt that the things I was learning to prepare for teaching ESL--even though they came easily to me--were not very well suited to my personality. Now, I've always wanted to be a teacher, and I think I will be a great teacher. But through taking the TESOL courses, I realized that I may not be the best "educator," in the sense that I feel more inclined toward being a mentor--a source of emotional and psychological support--rather than being a formal educator who holds students accountable for grades, etc. Now, I know it isn't as black and white as I just made it sound, but it's the only way I can describe it in words. At any rate, I felt like my personality and the TESOL industry were not the best match. I prayed to be able to receive direction and guidance about what the next step in my life should be.
     I can't pinpoint one talk in particular that gave me the huge epiphany I was waiting for--though these (1 2 3) were really great. I just felt like I could be at peace with whatever decision I wanted to make. I felt that Heavenly Father was pleased with me, that I was making good umbrella decisions and heading in the right direction overall, and the specifics at that point could be up to me. Pretty much, I was reminded time and time again how much He loves me. It was a phenomenal weekend.
     The Tuesday after Conference, I got snapped back into real life when my computer screen stopped working. This was a week before my senior thesis was due, and I was about to just give up and cry. Talk about awful timing. Luckily my brother was able to come over and hook me up to another monitor so I could still work on everything. He's such a huge blessing in my life, and his technology knowledge and tendency to have lots of extra cords and accessories on hand are only a portion of the reason for that. I asked him for a Priesthood blessing, knowing that I would need the extra strength and support through the next week. I was floored by the power and specificity of the blessing. I know that Brad was serving then as God's mouthpiece; I had not expressed any of my school/career concerns to Brad, and yet he spoke these words in the blessing: "You have been blessed with a variety of abilities. Your talents are diverse. Do not feel like you are tied down to one specific field or area of interest. Use those various talents and gifts to help with whatever you choose to pursue as your next step in life."
     There it was. My answer. I went in the next day to the Advisement Center, officially dropped the minor and applied to officially graduate on 21 April 2011. (Reason #2894759125 why I love BYU: You can make an earth-shattering decision about your career path just two weeks before graduation, and when you tell your academic advisers, "General Conference and a Priesthood blessing changed my life plan," they'll support you in a heartbeat, no questions asked.)
     I knew this was the right decision. For so many reasons, I could have been freaking out and going crazy about what I was doing. The biggest thing? This meant I'd lose my on-campus job and would have to find a new one soon. I was going to be in the same position I was in two years ago--desperately searching for a job so I could pay the rent for the contract I'd already signed. That was a pretty miserable time, but even facing the possibility of those difficulties again, I felt peaceful and confident that things would work out.
     Now, a month later, I have a job that I'll begin at the beginning of June. It's something that I know will be both meaningful and enjoyable. I recognize that my being able to get a job so quickly is a specific answer to my prayers. Through these experiences, Father has strengthened my testimony of the direct relationship between action and progression.
     At this point, with some of the opportunities that may be available during and after this new job, I don't know if I will end up in special education. That's certainly the goal right now, and I'll be working toward that, possibly starting as early as August. But I'm sure that if I wanted to go on and do something with TESOL, I can be successful with that as well, but here's the bottom line: I'm excited to pursue this new goal and see where it leads me. I've been reminded of how good it is to have the Lord on my side. I know that He is guiding me. I've always been told I'd be able to do good things in my life, and now I finally feel that way.

Snippets:
1. Maddie has moved out, and I miss her. But I'm proud of her and so grateful she's been in my life.
2. My friends are amazing and make me smile and laugh every day.
3. I rode a bike 4 times last week and it's been magical. I'm pretty sure I'll be doing that a lot this summer.
4. I am so grateful for family members who support me through everything I do--spiritually and emotionally, as well as temporally when they can (and sometimes even when they can't).